he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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