It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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