What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
