You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
