Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize