Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize