Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I need to wash the frat house off of me
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
