I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
