They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
