I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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