There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
