What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
