I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Randomize
