Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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