K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize