So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
