when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
