I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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