you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
