Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
