i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
