can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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