We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize