Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
