Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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