I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
