Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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