that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
