she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
