I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
