Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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