I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Randomize
