I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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