So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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