I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Do you have feelings for this penis?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
