I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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