i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize