I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
