Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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