so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
