What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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