he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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