I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
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