Taylor Swift is so right about you.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
