I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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