I have demons in me.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
