I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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