Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Never joke about your clitoris.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
