thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
