I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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