I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
