Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
