I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize