S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
