Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
