When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
