Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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