Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
