You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
