Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
