I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
