omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize