worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
there was a trapeze. enough said
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
