who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
