Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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