I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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