Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
