NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
She even gives head with a lisp.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize