The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
