question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
