You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
