ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize