i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
