I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
